Breaking Free from Mindset Jail: Living More Authentic

Have you ever just wanted to be completely FREE? I’m talking about the kind of freedom that makes you feel like you could show up to the grocery store in pajamas and not care what anyone thinks. Like, “Yes, Susan, I’m in a unicorn onesie and I’m buying ice cream—judge away.”

But seriously, wouldn’t it be incredible to just be yourself? I mean, imperfections, quirks, and all. Say the things you want to say, express how you really feel—within reason, of course. No one’s talking about storming into the office and giving your boss a piece of your mind, because, you know, consequences are still a thing. And one rule should always apply: Don’t mess with someone else’s path. You’re on your journey, they’re on theirs.

I used to want revenge for things that happened in my past. Trust me, at one point, I had some… let’s call them “creative” ideas about what to do to my adopted father. He was abusive, kept me in a cage of his own making, with excuses like, “I was raised this way, it’s all I know.” Cue the world’s smallest violin playing for him. That’s what we call a cop-out, my friends. He was stuck in his mindset, ruled by Ego (capital ‘E’ for emphasis).

I try to have compassion for people like him, though. To a point. I’ve learned that some people just aren’t capable of growth. It’s like trying to teach your dog to do calculus—there’s only so much you can expect. But that doesn’t mean we need to stay stuck. In my first book, I talk about forgiving those who hurt me because they just couldn’t rise above their fears. Maybe they never meant to be hurtful, maybe they did. Either way, I’m not letting that hold me down.

But here’s the deal: True freedom is about dropping all that fear. We stop ourselves from being who we are because we’re worried about what other people think. It’s fear of rejection, judgment, or worse, awkward silences at parties when you confess you still love ‘90s boy bands (I stand by my love for *NSYNC, by the way). What if we changed that? What if we let go of caring about what the wrong people think, and started embracing the people who get us?

That’s where we run into the tricky little monsters called assumptions and expectations. We assume we’re only meant to fit in a certain mold, built by how we were raised and the environments we grew up in. You know, like when your parents tell you to be a doctor, but your passion is… finger painting. So you go through life thinking you should have been a cardiologist, all the while daydreaming about canvases and colors. Expectations and assumptions create this bizarre bubble of fear.

We expect certain people to be right for us, certain roles to fit us, because of how we grew up. It’s like trying to shove yourself into a pair of skinny jeans that haven’t fit since high school—uncomfortable and definitely not your best look.

But what if you were never meant to fit into that mold in the first place? What if, instead of forcing ourselves into these roles, we actually listened to that quiet voice inside us? The one that’s been screaming, “Hey, I’m still here, I want to do what makes us happy!” but was drowned out by all the “shoulds” and “supposed to’s.”

Maybe you don’t belong in the 9-5 grind, where everyone is chained to their desk, counting the minutes until they can leave and live their “real” life. Maybe your real life is the one where you wake up excited to follow your passion, connect with people who inspire you, and leave behind all the stuff that’s holding you back. What if you no longer needed approval or validation from people who never really understood you?

What would that kind of freedom look like on a personal level? Here’s the thing: it wouldn’t be perfect. It wouldn’t be glamorous, and it wouldn’t always be easy. But it would be real. It would be about waking up and doing what makes you feel alive—not what you’ve been told you should be doing. It’s about dropping the weight of assumptions and letting yourself breathe for the first time, no longer bound by other people’s expectations.

Breaking free means accepting that you’re not meant to be anyone else but you, in all your messy, beautiful, and imperfect glory. So, let’s stop living inside that fear-filled bubble and start living in the space where authenticity and joy reign supreme. And who knows, maybe that’s the life you’ve been waiting for all along.

What Happens When We Break Free from Judgment?

Have you ever thought about what society would look like if we all suddenly stopped living so judgmentally of one another? Would it be a utopia? Would people start trading goods and services instead of chasing wealth and power? Would we place more value on life itself rather than the status symbols of control and influence?

If you ask me, the answer is…not exactly.

Sure, a lot could change. People might let go of the shallow expectations placed upon them, becoming more authentic and true to themselves. Maybe we’d stop obsessing over material wealth, but human nature dictates that chaos and the desire for control would never fully disappear. Even in a world where most of us are trying to live peacefully, free from the ego-driven need to control others, there will still be those out there who are wired differently.

These are the chaos creators—the ones who seek power for power’s sake, whose very existence thrives on the illusion of control over others.

The Problem with Human Nature: Lessons in Chaos

While it’s tempting to imagine a world where selfishness fades and we all exist in harmony, the reality is that conflict is necessary for growth. Some people are born into this life to shake things up, whether by nature or nurture. It’s as if their purpose is to challenge the rest of us, to disrupt the comfort and peace we work so hard to build.

These chaos creators exist to teach us lessons—unpleasant ones, yes—but lessons nonetheless. Their drive for control, their need to be on top, to dominate, to be feared…it’s part of the balance in life. No matter how we evolve, there will always be those who aim to break down what others build, simply to prove they can.

And guess what? That’s okay.

The Illusion of Power and Control

I’ve learned this through my own experiences: not everyone is born with the desire to control others. Personally, I don’t want that kind of responsibility. I don’t need anyone’s reverence or the weight of leading hundreds of people to follow my every word. I’m not selfish enough to believe that the world should revolve around me, nor do I want that pressure.

But there are those who crave it. They thrive on the illusion that they can control everything—the people, the outcomes, the future. And while their approach might look toxic to someone like me, it serves a purpose in the larger narrative of life.

We need contrast to learn our own boundaries. These people who chase control are part of the grand design, even if their role is to create the chaos the rest of us navigate. It’s a dynamic that exists in every part of life, no matter how much we evolve spiritually, emotionally, or socially.

A Hypothetical Divide: Chaos vs. Peace

Now, imagine if society could be split in two. On one side, we have people like me and perhaps you—those who just want to live, experience, and be part of the earth without controlling others. On the other side are the chaos creators, the ones hungry for power, wanting to rule over one another.

In theory, this sounds ideal, right? We, the peaceful ones, could thrive without their toxic energy. But even this divide wouldn’t stop chaos from seeping in. Why? Because chaos isn’t just something external. It’s part of the fabric of life, woven into human existence. No matter where you go, or how you separate people, conflict, and growth through struggle will find a way in.

Why Judgment Isn’t the Enemy—It’s the Ego Behind It

We often think judgment is the problem. If we just stopped judging ourselves and others, we’d be free. But it’s not judgment itself; it’s the ego behind it. The voice that says, “I’m better than you,” or “I’m not good enough.” That’s the real enemy.

When we break free of the ego’s grip, judgment becomes less harsh. It doesn’t disappear completely, but it softens. You can look at someone’s life without needing to compare it to your own. You can recognize someone else’s success or failure without attaching it to your self-worth.

In a perfect world, we’d all be able to do this—separate our sense of self from the need to judge or control others. But, let’s be honest, that’s not how the world works. People will always project their fears, their failures, and their unmet expectations onto others. And while that sounds bleak, it’s part of the journey.

Chaos Isn’t the Enemy—It’s the Catalyst

Here’s the thing: chaos isn’t the enemy. It’s the catalyst for change, for growth, and for learning. Without chaos, without the people who challenge us, we wouldn’t evolve. Sure, it would be nice if we could learn through love and peace alone, but that’s not how life works.

Some people were put here to create that contrast, to force us to rise above, to let go of control, and to navigate life with grace. It’s in those moments of chaos that we find our greatest lessons.

Final Thoughts: Embracing the Uncertainty

So, what happens when we stop living so judgmentally of everyone? Maybe we become more open-minded, more compassionate. Maybe we start valuing life itself instead of status, wealth, or control. But chaos will always exist, and that’s not a bad thing.

Chaos gives us the opportunity to grow, to evolve, and to redefine what matters most to us. The challenge is to navigate it without losing ourselves in the process—to live authentically, free from the need to control or be controlled, and to find peace within the mess.

Because the truth is, the world is messy, chaotic, and full of ego-driven individuals. But it’s also full of people like us, who just want to live, experience, and grow. And somewhere in the balance of all that, we find our freedom.