The Backstory Behind the Flame #2

Heather’s Fireside #2: The Backstory Behind the Flame

Before there was peace, there was fire. And before I ever learned how to build my own flame, I had to learn how to survive in the dark.

Heather’s Fireside isn’t just a collection of cozy thoughts, filtered wisdom, or spiritual affirmations for the masses. This is sacred ground—my sacred ground—where I speak from truth, not from trend. Where I show you what healing actually looks like in real life. Where we strip away the filters and look each other in the soul.

If you haven’t read my first book, Untold Truths, you can find it here (and yes, I will be linking it in every Fireside article because it matters). But if you’re new here, let me share something foundational:

The Backstory Before the Present

I was raised in a violently abusive home from age 5 to 15 by my stepfather-turned-adoptive father. It was physical. It was mental. And it was normalized. Until, in July 1991, just before my 16th birthday, I got a sliver of an opportunity.

My aunt and uncle—his own sister and her husband—along with my grandparents, invited me to help them move from Minnesota to Nevada. My parents agreed, under the assumption I’d be sent back before school started. What they didn’t know was that all four adults had secretly planned to ask me to stay.

But it wasn’t up to them. It was up to me.

I had to call my abusers and ask them to give up legal guardianship. I had to call the very people who tormented me for a decade and say, “I don’t want to come back.”

They could’ve said no. They didn’t. And I stayed.

And for years, I gave all the credit away. To the adults who “saved” me. But the truth is, they gave me a doorway. I walked through it. I rescued me.

With therapy, I’ve learned to stop minimizing that. I’ve stopped pretending that healing was simple or instantaneous. I wasn’t just a “normal kid” dropped into a new life. I was traumatized, terrified, and taught to perform happiness while hiding the wreckage inside.

So why share this now? Because Heather’s Fireside isn’t here to serve as my soapbox. It’s here to illuminate how we rise, even after everything.

I want this space to be a place where we remember that healing is possible when we start telling the truth—our truth—without shame. Without needing to blame or destroy anyone else to feel valid. I could easily weaponize my pain, name names, and hold up every failure from people in my past. But that’s not what this is.

This Fireside is Not About Bitterness.

It’s about burning through the stories that no longer serve us.

It’s about recognizing that yes, people hurt us. Some deeply. Some unforgivably. But in order to grow, we must look at what those experiences are trying to reflect back to us.

Were we supposed to learn to speak up? Were we meant to learn boundaries? Were we supposed to stop waiting for rescue and finally rescue ourselves?

I believe every pain point becomes a mirror. Every toxic dynamic becomes an invitation to show up more fully for ourselves. And this doesn’t mean we stop holding others accountable—it means we start holding ourselves in a deeper kind of love.

And yes—I am a loving person. That’s not just fluff or branding. It’s the raw truth. I cringe when I hear people casually say, “I hate people,” because I know that, eventually, those same people are going to need someone to not hate them back.

I hate hate. I despise bigotry in every form. And I’ll never stop advocating for love, tolerance, and equality. But I will also never demand that someone else conform to my version of identity or truth. You don’t have to agree with everyone. But you don’t get to control them, either. That is not your job. That is not mine. That is not love.

The Fireside Is a Place to Be Real.

Yes, I’ve shaken my head at the world more times than I can count. Society’s chaos can feel like it’s unraveling into madness. But instead of screaming into the void, I’ve chosen to light a fire. Here.

This fire says:

• We do not need to be perfect to be worthy.
• We do not need to destroy others to find our voice.
• We can call out injustice while still extending grace.

So this is your invitation: To come back to the flame, not to be told what to do, but to remember what you already know.

Let it start with your own story. Let it burn through the bitterness. Let it rise from the truth.

And for those of you who want to go deeper, I will soon be launching a monthly membership. This will be for anyone seeking solace, needing to ask questions, or just wanting a space to feel heard. You’ll be able to submit one core issue each week, and I’ll be responding—with help from my voice of reason (yes, that means AI-assisted insight).

This membership will eventually offer an upgrade for those interested in learning how to build their own online income stream. We’ll keep it rooted in the basics—because the basics are the foundation. Alongside the practical advice, you’ll continue receiving Fireside reminders: a daily dose of realism, emotional release, and the freedom to become a thinker, a feeler, and a creator of your own life.

Welcome to my Fireside. Let’s sit in the glow and begin again.

With Love and Light,

Heather

P.S. If you would like to be notified when the membership is ready, please feel free to sign up for reminders here: