The Comfort Zone Struggle: How to Recover from Fear

Recovery Series: Article 2 by Heather Malloy

The Dilemma of Comfort: Why I Struggle to Leave My Space

For someone like me, whose passion is writing, my environment is everything. When I sit down to pour my thoughts onto the page, I need to feel completely connected to myself, to my source. That connection requires more than just a quiet room; it’s about finding a space where my energy aligns, where peace surrounds me, and inspiration flows like an open river. That’s why it’s so hard to leave the comfort of my home.

I recently had the chance to go to Georgia for my sister’s wedding, and I loved every second of it. The green landscapes, the feeling of serenity—it was as if the world slowed down enough for me to take it all in, and for a brief moment, I could breathe. I was inspired in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. It wasn’t just the beauty of the place; it was the sense of peace that allowed my mind to wander and my heart to reconnect with the words I long to write.

This is why leaving my comfort zone is so difficult. I know that out there, beyond my usual environment, there are places that make me feel alive, places where my creativity can thrive. But there’s a catch—life doesn’t always hand you the perfect circumstances to follow your passions freely.

The Financial Hurdle

The reality is, part of the reason I don’t step outside my comfort zone more often is because I can’t afford to. It’s a strange paradox—I crave connection, new experiences, and the inspiration that comes from being in places like Georgia, but finances hold me back. I’m not just talking about extravagant vacations or world travel; I’m talking about the everyday costs of just being able to change my environment.

When you don’t have the financial freedom to step outside your usual surroundings, you end up retreating even further into the spaces you know. And while there’s comfort in that retreat, there’s also a sense of stagnation. It becomes a cycle: You stay where you feel safe because it’s familiar and affordable, but the cost of that safety is missing out on experiences that could feed your soul.

The Space for Creation

There’s something sacred about having a space that is entirely your own. For me, writing is more than just a hobby—it’s a passion, a way of life. When I’m in a place that feels right, the words come naturally. I can sit for hours, lost in thought, connecting with something beyond myself. It’s in these moments that I feel like I’m truly doing what I’m meant to do.

Yet, this passion also requires a certain level of quiet—a peace that allows the mind to drift into the deeper parts of oneself. That peace isn’t always easy to find, especially outside of the places I’ve carefully cultivated. When I leave my space, I’m confronted with noise, distractions, and the general chaos of life. It’s no wonder I hesitate to go out more often.

But, as the article that inspired this one suggests, I also know that isolation and retreating inward all the time can be detrimental. The human need for connection is real, and even though I find solace in my own space, there’s a part of me that longs to experience more of the world, to meet new people, to expand my perspective.

Finding Balance

The struggle is finding balance. How do I honor my need for quiet and creativity while also pushing myself to step out into the world and make those connections that feed my soul in different ways? I don’t have the perfect answer yet. Maybe it’s not about forcing myself to leave but about creating opportunities where I can enjoy the best of both worlds—spaces that allow for peace and inspiration, while also fostering connection and growth.

At the end of the day, it’s about more than just money or comfort—it’s about figuring out what I need to thrive, both creatively and personally. I’m still working on that balance, but one thing is clear: Writing is my passion, and I need to protect the spaces that allow me to do that, while also finding ways to open up to new experiences that can enhance that passion.

The Internal Conflict: When Work Doesn’t Align with Passion

Deep inside, there’s this nagging voice that often questions me, almost in a condescending tone—“If you don’t make enough money, why don’t you just get a better job?” It’s frustrating because I’ve tried. I’ve gone out, found jobs that put me in a good financial place, and yet time and time again, I’ve been laid off. I would get praised for going above and beyond at work, but the reality is that I was only valued for what I could do for them at the moment, not for the long haul.

This pattern of being let go after doing everything I could—delivering exceptional results, staying focused, and keeping my head down—has made me feel disposable. The corporate world doesn’t seem to want the kind of loyalty and integrity I bring to the table; they want immediate results, not long-term connection. And honestly, I’ve never fit into the social molds that come with traditional workplaces.

Social Norms and Workplace Culture

It doesn’t help that I struggle with the social dynamics at work. I’m not interested in cliques, gossip, or the toxic ways people bond by tearing others down. It’s almost like if you don’t play the game, you’re automatically excluded from the team. And in workplaces where fitting in seems more important than the quality of work, that isolation becomes apparent pretty fast.

I’ve had people stop talking to me simply because I won’t feed into their hatred or spread rumors about others. It’s not that I don’t want connection—it’s that I refuse to compromise my values to gain it. But that choice makes it harder to maintain friendships at work or even stay employed in environments that prioritize social currency over actual productivity. In my mind, when I’m at work, I should be working—not trying to navigate a popularity contest.

Trading Time for Money

Another issue that weighs heavily on me is the idea of trading my precious time for money, especially in jobs that don’t align with who I am or what fulfills me. It’s hard to find joy in working when it’s only about paying the bills. Sure, money fuels the ability to do what you love—but what happens when all you’re doing is making enough to get by? Where’s the space to use your gifts, to feel fulfilled, or to pursue your real passions?

Right now, in order to sustain myself, I’m working as a virtual sales rep and providing roadside assistance. I won’t lie—I hate it. Every day I feel this weight of nervousness, like I’m one wrong move away from making a mistake that leaves someone stranded or missing sales targets that could cost me my job. It’s draining to constantly walk on eggshells, knowing that my job security is tied to meeting these metrics that don’t resonate with who I am or what I’m passionate about.

The Compromise: Time for Writing

But at this moment, it’s the only thing allowing me the space and time to write while also paying the bills. I keep reminding myself that this is a temporary situation, a means to an end. Yet, it’s hard not to feel trapped by the necessity of doing something I despise just to survive. The contradiction is glaring—I need the freedom to create and write, yet I’m tied to work that slowly chips away at that freedom.

In many ways, it feels like a vicious cycle: doing what you must to live, but sacrificing the very things that make life meaningful in the process. So I wrestle with these feelings daily, knowing I’m capable of more, but feeling stuck in the loop of jobs that don’t nourish my soul.

The Pursuit of Knowledge and Multiple Avenues of Income

Over the years, I have pursued a variety of ways to expand my knowledge and build an income, whether through life coaching, affiliate marketing, or attempting to combine the two. Each path offered a glimmer of something I was seeking—freedom, fulfillment, the ability to help others in meaningful ways while also creating a sustainable financial future. It’s easy to imagine the potential, to picture the growth and success that can come from these ventures. But the reality is, no matter how much potential exists, the struggle to put all the pieces together—while also managing the financial pressures of everyday life—becomes overwhelming.

When I think about the ways I’ve tried to build an income, it isn’t just about making money. It’s about aligning with my passions and doing something that feels meaningful, something that allows me to contribute to others’ lives in a way that resonates deeply with who I am. This is the reason why I became a life coach, why I ventured into affiliate marketing. I wanted to create something that would not only sustain me financially but also emotionally. I wanted to help others while building a foundation of growth and freedom.

But as much as these avenues hold promise, they also require immense amounts of time, energy, and focus—three things that are often in short supply when you’re juggling everything on your own.

The Battle with Focus and Prioritization

Focus has become one of my biggest struggles. Every day I wake up with so many ideas, so many things I could be doing to build the future I want. Writing, creating video ads, working on content for my coaching business—the list goes on. The problem isn’t that I lack passion or creativity. It’s that there are so many options, so many directions I could go, that I sometimes feel paralyzed by choice.

Each task demands something different from me. Writing is where I find peace, where I can connect deeply with myself and with others. But then there’s the need to market that writing, to get it out into the world where people can see it. Creating video ads, managing social media content, it all requires focus and energy, yet it’s necessary to get the exposure I need to succeed. There’s a constant tension between the long-term goals of creating the content I love and the short-term needs of getting the word out so that people even know what I have to offer.

When everything feels important, how do you decide what to focus on? The weight of each decision presses down, making it hard to move forward in any direction. The fear of making the wrong choice, of wasting time on the wrong task, looms large.

The Challenge of Working Alone

Being a solopreneur means that everything falls on me. It’s exhilarating at times—the freedom to create whatever I want, to move at my own pace. But it’s also incredibly lonely. The pressure to do everything on my own is relentless. I don’t have anyone here beside me, helping me figure out what needs to be done or providing the support that can make such a difference when you’re trying to build something from the ground up.

It’s not just about having someone to bounce ideas off of; it’s about the frustration of knowing that I could be further along if I just had the right kind of help. Someone who knows what they’re doing, who doesn’t need constant explanations or guidance, who could step in and lighten the load without the expectation of immediate payment. But finding that kind of help feels impossible, especially when I’m already stretched so thin that I don’t have the time or resources to search for it.

This isn’t just a problem I’m facing—it’s a reality for so many people trying to build a business or chase a dream on their own. It’s a constant push and pull between needing to make progress and not having the bandwidth to do everything yourself.

The Cost of Time and Resources

Time is as valuable as money, and right now, it feels like I don’t have enough of either. The work I’m currently doing—taking calls as a virtual sales rep and providing roadside assistance—isn’t what I want to be doing. The stress of wondering whether I’ll make enough sales or whether I’ll leave someone stranded on the side of the road keeps me on edge. It’s not fulfilling, but it does pay the bills. It gives me the space to write and create, even if it’s not ideal.

But the reality is that this work, while necessary, is also keeping me from fully investing in the things that truly matter to me. The time and energy it takes to maintain this job are draining. I’m left with little capacity to pour into the projects that could actually build the future I want—the coaching, the writing, the content creation. It’s a frustrating cycle: I need the job to survive, but the job is preventing me from thriving.

The ultimate question becomes: How do you break free? How do you create the time and space needed to build something that lasts when you’re stuck in a system that only sustains you from day to day? The balance between survival and growth is a delicate one, and every day it feels like I’m walking a tightrope, trying not to fall.

Creating Balance to DO What We Love!

When it comes to balancing the realities of working for a living with building my dream business—a blend of my writing and coaching—it all starts with a solid plan. I know from experience that having a clear sense of direction is key to making it work. A few weeks ago, I shared the TLC Method, which stands for Traffic, Leads, and Conversions (Customers) but for this article, we are going to focus on Tender (Think), Loving (Learn), and Care (Create).

No matter how I spin that acronym, this method starts with keeping the end in mind—a concept that fits perfectly here because if you’re going to create a plan, you need to know exactly where you’re going. It’s all about giving yourself a little TLC which includes accomplishing those things our heart wants. And it all starts with:

Step 1: Desire.

My passion is helping others grow through sharing my stories and experiences. I’ve been through plenty in life, but one thing I’ve learned is that with a little perseverance and a lot of persistence, we can accomplish anything. By sharing my journey, people get to know me, trust me, and, in turn, begin to create their own ideas for growth. That’s my end goal—to create financial security through my writing while helping others grow, both personally and financially.

So what is it YOU want to accomplish? I am completely serious, take some time, write this out because once you know your end goal, the next step is:

Step 2: Laying the Foundation—crafting a plan that’s going to take you from where you are to where you want to be. This involves knowing what you need to do and gathering the right information. Research plays a big role here, especially when it comes to gaining the knowledge you need for each piece of the plan.

Outlines are great for planning, it allows you to see the big things, but then breaking down those big things into manageable tasks that you can work through one by one.

Step 3: Taking Imperfect Action—is all about defining your tasks and getting them done. One key to success is to focus on one task at a time. If another idea comes up while you’re working on something, jot it down and save it for later. The goal here is to stay present with what you’re doing. This is where many of us get stuck because we think everything has to be perfect. But it’s important to let go of perfection. Small, imperfect steps are still steps forward. So, do the thing, even if you think it isn’t quite right—you can always come back and fine-tune it later. This is how I approach all my article and content writing.

Step 4: Make Room for Allowing—this is a loaded concept. You need to learn to allow yourself permission to be a little space to be open-minded and allowing for creativity to flow. One of the hardest things that I focus on is: Letting go of expectations. You have to release the need for things to go exactly as planned. When we get too caught up in rigid expectations, we risk getting discouraged or burned out when things inevitably shift. I remind myself to let go of control over how it all unfolds, especially since the journey is rarely linear.

There are other things you should let go of too. Let go of the fear of failure. Failure itself, which I talk about in Untold Truths, is not bad, it is simply feedback telling us to redirect and try a new path. There are many roads that lead to our desire, we just need to take the small detour.

Let go of needing to be validated by others at every turn. Let go of the comparison trap where you measure your progress against someone else’s. All these things can hold you back from making the strides you’re meant to make. This was my issue which started this Recovery Series. My book launch didn’t go as I had planned, so I had a moment of upset. That supposed “failure” made me see that I just needed to go in a different direction, and here we are…

In the end, what matters is that you keep moving forward with clarity, persistence, and the willingness to adapt. Balancing a job while building your dream isn’t easy, but it’s possible. It starts with a vision, continues with a plan, and succeeds through action, even if that action is imperfect.

Concluion:

Intro to the next article “Coming Soon”